Growing up, I would hear stories from my male friends about how their baby sitters would kiss them or touch them in inappropriate ways. My friends would talk about making out with a “play aunt” or having sex with a family friend. It was not looked upon as a bad thing; in fact, it was something they bragged about. This was a rite of passage to many of us.
Why I Don’t Code Switch
Some black folks would say, “Leave that ghetto shit at home. Talk like you got some sense!” I wanted to go far, get a nice job, and make money, so I would switch it on and off when I needed to. I felt like I was doing what I needed to do in order to become accepted in the world.
No, I Don’t Accept Your Apology
When I was younger, I would do and say things out of anger. I’d get mad and yell. I would regret the things I said and after some time, I would apologize. My Mother would accept my apology, but as I continued to do those things, she would get tired of my routine. One day after throwing a tantrum and apologizing after, she said, “You know, you keep saying you are sorry, and at some point it doesn’t mean anything.” I thought about that. I wanted my word and actions…
Poking the bear: Khabib, Conor, and The Act of Restraint
On Satuday, October 6, 2018, I like many people had their eyes and ears on UFC 229, and it’s main event, Khabib Nurmagomedov vs. Conor McGregor. I had attended my partner’s high-school reunion and was unable to watch the fight, but I had my face glued to my phone, constantly viewing Twitter for updates. MMA, or mixed martial arts, has (very) slowly moved from a fringe sport once described as “human cock fighting” by recently passed Arizona Senator John McCain, to an extremely popular event that garners millions in attendees…
Reject the Emmett Till/Brett Kavanaugh Comparison
Apparently, there is a meme going around showing Emmett Till’s body saying “Women do lie about rape” to defend Supreme Court Justice nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Okay, there is a lot wrong with this and it s triggering for me. As a Black man, one of the many things I have to worry about is false rape accusations. These things happen, especially when we are involved with white women. People’s lives have been ruined, taken, and entire towns have been destroyed because a white woman accused a Black man of rape….
Allyship is a verb
Black folks are tired. I mean worn out, depleted, and exhausted. The marathon of life and the hate we experience has got us debilitated. Drained of power and desire to talk with white folks about what it means to be Black, our struggle, and attempting to justify why we should not be terrorized. We are out of ways to tell white America why we are deserving of respect and peace. Black people cannot describe our lives enough. We have said everything and done everything. It is over. This is the…
What Men Get Right (and Wrong) About Sexual Harassment
Here is an interview I did with Neale Godfrey, a finance expert on #metoo, sexual harassment in the workplace, and my piece “A Black Guy and A White Guy Talk Sexual Harassment.” Check out the talk here
#Permitpatty and #BBQBecky: 911 is a joke
There are not too many Black people walking among us today that can tell you they have avoided contact with the police. It is an almost inevitable collision. You can be walking down the street, driving a car, entering your own home, or performing everyday life tasks, and eventually you will interact with the cops. This is something Black parents try and prepare their children when they give The Talk, a conversation our Mothers and Fathers have with us about how to act when confronted by the police and how…
Working – An Excerpt from Straight Dope
Here is an excerpt from my first book, Straight Dope: A 360 degree look into American Drug Culture When I graduated high-school, I was finished with going to class. I had enough of being told what to do, what place I had to report to, what time to be there, and what kind of man I was shaping up to be. I just had enough of that shh, so after I graduated, I said, “F college, I am going to take a break, get a job, and make some money.”…
#LivingWhileBlack
For while the tale of how we suffer, and how we are delighted, and how we may triumph is never new, it always must be heard. There isn’t any other tale to tell, it’s the only light we’ve got in all this darkness.” -James Baldwin, Sonny’s Blues If I were to ever be asked, “What is life as a Black person?” I would be totally aghast. Not because I couldn’t answer the question, but because of how vast it is. Where would I start? Would it be with our current…